Act One: Scene...

Act one:
Setting:

• Living room. Daytime. Sun coming in through windows. Small caterpillar snow plow clearing the sidewalks outside. Space heater on. The smell of fresh coffee in the air.

Scene:

• Dog in Poang chair by the window.
  
• Cat on catpost shelf just below the crows nest. Cat sleeping in chicken formation (no legs).
  
• Dog's favorite blue ball, on the shelf below the cat
• Mom sitting on couch with computer watching pets and writing their dialog.
  

    
Dog: *stares at cat*   whine whine whine

Cat: *blink blink* internal monologue "BWHAHAHAHA! I has da bawl!"

Dog: *lays down, pouts and makes sad, sad eyes at the cat*

Cat: *grooms paws, eyes closed, very content looking* internal monologue "HOW DID I GET SO DIRTY!?... or right I HAS THE BAWL! BWHAHAHA!"

Dog: *gets up and moves over to the couch and stares at Mom, stares at the ball, stares at Mom, lays down and pouts and stares at ball*

Cat: *moves up to crows nest and looks out over the living room with crazy eyes* internal monologue "Now that I'm in possession of the bawl I has the leverage to take over the world! First I will keel da dawg, then I will keel the puny human! THEN I will steal all the blue bawls in the world! BWHAHAHAHA!... first I need to kleen my butt though...."

Mom: Sigh *gets up and walks over to cat and pets her*

Cat: internal monologue "SHIT! The puny human is attacking!... Geebus she's not puny anymore, how'd she get so big! AHHHHH! She's attacking, she's attacking RETREAT! ALL UNITS FALL BACK! THE HUMANS ARE ATTACKIN.... ooohhh pettings...." purr purrrr purrrrrrrrr

Mom: "Oh kitty you're so silly"

Dog: Internal monologue "What about the ball? I loves the ball... Mom... I loves the ball I need it... I rea...llly.... nee...d... it..." *eyes close* snore snore

Cat: Internal monologue "Next time puny human... next time I won't let you penetrate my defenses with your pettings... I shall conquer the world... and I still have the ball hostage... BWHAHAHA!" *meticulously grooms tail*

Mom: *Gets ball down and puts it in dog's toy bin*

Dog: blink blink, yaaaawwwwnnnn....  internal monologue "Yay! the Ball is safe!" *goes back to sleep*

Cat: Internal monologue "F*CK! I lost the ball... now I need to start all over... stupid humans... they ruin everything. I'm going to take out this aggression on the the dog... but first there are more important things at hand" *clean butt with a vengeance*

Mom: *walks away*

Dog: *sleeps on couch*